You say you’re ok and you somehow show it and convince yourself that you are. The place, that car, that day of the month, and the yellow mini dress you wore are forever branded in your memory.
You haven’t set foot at the same location since then. The May hot evening air left you cold. And somehow you tried wearing the same yellow mini dress again but don’t feel the same way you did when you first purchased it.
You felt strongly about this situation. Lost, afraid, disgusted and embarrassed even. You are kind, you are friendly, you have manners (you know better) you are always laughing and smiling and beautiful (as they say). But why did he have to do that? Trust and friendship is what you two had and in no way did you ever want to cross that. How dare he?
Now you feel ashamed, paranoid, and mean. You are ashamed of what you were wearing that night. You wanted to look sexy. For yourself, your confidence, your ego but ended up looking trashy and desperate and easy. Paranoid of seeing him and that car anywhere any time. And mean because You are scarred and don’t want to give anyone else the same impression you thought You gave him.
Stumbling and dizzy he thought you were an easy target. He knew your background and you knew his. After all, you two were friends. Part of the same people you were always around.
That night he offered help as so you saw it. But in reality it was his plot to get you alone. How dare he?
In today’s world sexual assault has many definitions in different states such as rape and sexual battery. Anything defined above without consent/permission is NOT ok. It’s is not fine to be touched in an unwanted manner. Every person has a right and a voice to say something.
I give thanks and I pray for the women who have come up. The women who have had the courage to point at who did them wrong and tell their story as they’re suffering inside are the real heroes. The National Sexual Assault Hotline has seen a spike in the number of callers since early 2018. We have Christine Blasey Ford for calling out Bret Kavanaugh (and even though it was a long time since that encounter she still stood up in front of the United State Supreme Court as well as all of America) and all the survivors that came up to tell their stories in the docu-series on the Lifetime Channel of ‘Surving R. Kelly’.
You are not alone. You know he did wrong and you did right by not staying quiet. You are strong, beautiful, and courageous.
National Sexual Assault Hotline
Available 24/7 call or chat