The One

Do you think you’ve met the one yet?

I have. Or at least I think I have. Although this is my second marriage I’m no love expert or a marriage guru. I’m human just like everyone else and I make mistakes as well.

But how do you know exactly when you’ve met the one?

You feel it deep inside of you when you first see them. Or maybe you’ve been friends with them for a while and it blossomed into a relationship. Whatever the case might be, you will know for sure that your soul deeply loves this person and simply cannot live without them or anybody else.

Love is so simple yet so complicated. Sometimes we are compelled to change someone we are with. And it causes major problems as that person has been the same all of their lives. Change is inevitable but this type of change you can’t just expect from anyone.

We all dream and hope for the perfect match when younger or even now but that person truly doesn’t exist. As we aspire for this person we set our selves up for failure. We end up expecting way too much out of our partner when we finally meet them and establish something serious.

Those who are married have said the first years will be hard and I concur. It’s the time you really get to know a person inside and out, habits, and routines. Sometimes we might not like it and during those first years we might have a difficult time adapting. But in the end it’s rewarding because you truly do become one with each other. When you have finally met on the same page everything becomes smooth. At least I hope it does.

When I was younger I was very stubborn (I still am actually, I don’t know why I stated that) and I hardly kept a relationship past two years. I was always the problem. I caused my partners to run because of the amount of change I had expected them to pickup. And to be honest it was way harder then because we were young and immature and not really adults. These boys didn’t know what I was asking for and it was easier just to leave the relationship.

Now as an adult I felt the same. I’ve made it difficult for my husband as well for dumping all these expected changes on him. He has took me, baggage and all as I am and yet here I ask him to change his lifestyle for me. And it’s not fair.

Love will make you do dumb things and overwhelm you and anger you and make you ugly cry but it can also make you super happy (scientists have actually proven that love is the equivalence of being on drugs actually) and motivate you and grow. Love is the prize, the end of the race winning first place but then soon after starting a whole new race. It’s complicated but yet rewarding.

-L

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