Familiar

It’s so intriguing what the human brain does.

Have you ever walked somewhere and recognized a certain smell? Or shopping at a store and a particular song starts playing and you’re instantly taken to the first time you heard it?

I’ve had a few of those instances. The way my daughter’s elementary school smells (which was the same elementary school I attended btw). It smells sweet mixed with a clean scent reminds me of my first days of school spent nervously walking in the halls with my tiny hand in my dad’s ginormous hand.

Dating anniversaries are also great times (and milestones) to remember the times you first started dating and maybe the place your SO took you for the first time. Those places, those songs playing in the car on your way to your date, the clothes you wore, the perfume you sprayed and maybe even the food you ordered. They all become lifelong memories and are remembered every year.

But not all memories are happy ones. There exist sad and painful moments we can’t help but remember…

Because of certain events, I am no longer able to enjoy the sound of certain music and certain places as they have left a sour taste in my mouth, and mind. They’re the places I wish not to go back to even if they’re known for their beautiful scenery.

It’s sad to say that I’ve remembered more bad memories than the good. They hit instantly and in the most random moments. I zone off staring at an object and sometimes even on a stranger’s face (It’s awkward if and when that person stares back at me, acknowledging I’ve been staring at their face for a while only to be thinking instead of actually staring).

My mind works like a broken movie. It plays, and it plays over and over. Almost as if my mind was trying to torture me. These bad memories though, they are out of my control most of the time. But then I think, I put myself in this position. I pretty much asked for this to happen to me. I did nothing and continue to do nothing. This broken movie will continue to play for the rest of my life.

Do your memories take over you too?

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