The First.

The first try of everything is always the best, exciting and always memorable.

As humans we can think of almost everything we have tried for the first time. (I don’t have stats but for someone who is far too forgetful and still remembers a lot of my first it’s obvious it’s the same for everyone else.)

The first love, it’s the most beautiful and meaningful relationship we can remember and it will forever be etched in our memories.

But to be honest we don’t always end up with our first love.

At that time our first love is perfect and flawless and nothing can break us but there’s a reason we don’t end up with them for the rest of our lives. And I don’t know the exact reason but I can take a guess.

During the time of being with our first love we are instantly on cloud 9. When spending time with that person or simply thinking about them at that time. First love feels like a fairy tale and that just what it is. It’s meant to be something that is not real. It feels real and it feels amazing but the majority of the time it’s not meant to be. It’s the attraction and the raw new feelings that control us and make us believe that they are the ones our souls are intertwined with. Soon enough that first love starts clearing up and we’re able to see what really lied beneath under the spell we were under. At times it can be viewed past but at times it’s not worth staying.

We’re only humans, certain events, sounds, movies will remind us of the first time we tried it with them. Sharing your life with a person for so long will have an effect on you after it’s truly over. It can be traumatic or it can be liberating either ways it will hurt in the process of trying to live your life without them. After all, love is seen as a drug and when we’re taken off a drug we used daily it affects our brain and our overall health. That’s crazy.

Experiencing your first love in high school can be confusing. There are some stories of high school sweethearts but how often do you hear they stay together. I believe I know two or three couples that stayed together after high school, got married and have started a family. The rest went through the cycle of figuring out who they wanted to date.

Mine lasted for three to four years. The first year was the best as everyone calls it the “honeymoon” stage. The rest were not as great as the first year. (Can you imagine if this took place during our adult years, I don’t think It would’ve lasted as long as it did when we had zero responsibilities.) But after my first I changed. I was a different person and because of him I put up walls that made the next two guys struggle to live with me.

It’s nice to remember all the firsts with these people but they’re best kept as memories. The times I cherish now are the times I have with my husband and my family. It may get me mad when talking about the past and acknowledging it was the time he was with his first but hey what can I do, he married me right?

Whether they are your Ry or your sweet lotus flower your spouse or significant other is in a new chapter with you, and that’s all that matters. Jealousy should not present itself as it was the time this person molded them into the person you fell in love with.

Do you remember your first?

-L

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