Positively Positive

Being a mother does not beat anything!

The fact that a human being can evolve a human being in her body is just AMAZING!

Little after turning 20 I was a few months pregnant. I know, I was really young and it honestly did NOT turn out in my favor with my child’s father but I kept a positive view on everything and continued my life as a single mother for a while. It’s been eight years now and I’m expecting my second child with my now husband and I feel as if I’m missing something. This time I did it the “right” way. Having a child after marriage the way my parents told my sister and I when we were young.

I’m beyond happy but there are times when I feel really depressed. I didn’t receive the most ecstatic reaction when I first told my husband and I feel like I “trapped him”.

All throughout this year I have to be honest, I didn’t take my birth control pills on a timely manner the way I was supposed to. After having my first child I had an IUD and I didn’t have anything to worry for the next five years. Once the five years were over I was on the pill and for a very forgetful person it wasn’t a good birth control option. I purchased about four or five pregnancy tests for the duration of this year and I was upset when the test came out negative.

I kinda knew I was pregnant when I took my last test. I had been late for four days and I was itching to take the test that I woke up at 4am to pee on the stick that day. (Morning urine is the best pee to use when testing) I ran to the restroom and tested. Two minutes later I was crying, holding a stick I just peed on. The whole day I grabbed my stomach area and I felt so excited.

That evening I surprised my husband with the pregnancy stick and baby shoes. Did I mention it was his birthday that day too? It might be a birthday to remember.

The following weeks were weird. I kept thinking and somehow wanted my period to come. I would check every time I used the restroom and sometimes I felt upset. A month after I went to the restroom and my underwear was drenched with blood. I freaked! I called my husband and my mother to meet me at the ER with a quivering voice.

The baby turned out fine and after that I cherished the little blob growing inside of me. I felt guilty and horrid about my thoughts prior to that month that I vowed not to stress about anything anymore. I was going to have a happy positive pregnancy!

-L

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